My Favourite Life

September 8, 2006

Confessions of a Cunning Linguist

Filed under: clean shaven,cunnilingus,Lesbian,oral sex,Pussy,Sex,shaven — myfavouritelife @ 9:40 am
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I love to eat pussy. Ever since my first experience, I have loved it. I had the pleasure of having a pussy eating expert my first go around. Much like my wife was trained to suck cock, I was trained to eat pussy. My wife was bi when we met. She had actually had about half a dozen lesbian experiences on her own before we met, which is to say no pressure from boyfriends—I know how that goes. Of course, she could just be saying it, but she says I give her head at least as well as her female lovers and better than her male lovers. Whether she means this truly, I will presume yes. Don’t burst my bubble, eh.

I love the scent of a pussy. I love the taste, the texture, the sight—well, that might be a given. I prefer a pussy to be shaven—nothing to hide those soft folds—, but there is nothing wrong with a nice bush either. These things being said, I have had the displeasure of seeing an absolutely ugly pussy, and it tasted sour, too. Yuck! I think it was due to her bad diet. First, she was overweight, so her pussy was just rolls of fat. She had no clit to speak of, and she tasted bad. To tell you the truth, she warned me that other guys had said that, but I figured they just didn’t like to eat pussy, and that was an easy stock phrase. Well, they were right.

A Variety of Pussies

My wife said she didn’t notice anything particular unique among pussies, but it is not true that if you’ve seen one pussy , you have seen them all. Sampling porno mags and vids, if you don’t have access to a variety of real women bears this out. Some women have a higher rising slit than others, some have more prominent labia minora—those luscious inner lips—, and clits some in all sorts of shapes and sizes. I know I have seen from as small as the one on the ugly pussy to the clit of my first wife, which was like a mini penis. It was actually pretty easy to suck on.

Then comes sensitivity. My first wife had some a sensitive clit, she wouldn’t let me near it, lest she go through the roof. When it came to oral sex for her, I had to stay around the inner lips, sucking them into my mouth and licking between the folds where they joined the outer lips. I could only circle her clit. The other thing about her is that it took her a half an hour to reach orgasm almost every time—not that I was complaining. Kristen was the type of girl who also needed to have something going in and out of her cunt while she was being eaten. This was usually three or four fingers curled inside her. Most of the other women I have eaten seem to be more distracted by something in their pussies unless it is motionless.

My current wife—no, she is not looking over my shoulder asking me to type nice things—has a spectacular pussy—suitable for framing, if you will. Aesthetically, it has a perfect shape—a model pussy. She doesn’t have those roast beefy labia that protrude beyond her outer lips. And while, I did enjoy my one experience with those lips, I don’t agree with her assessment that those lips are unattractive.

It looks as though I am rambling on again with no end in sight. I guess I will just end with a comment on sixty-nine. Not only does my wife have a beautiful pussy—and her gynecologist said she was built for sex—, she is the perfect partner for sixty-nine. I had tried sixty-nine with several women, and always with less than expected results. Once she and I got together, I saw what all the raving was about. Though, despite years of trying—on and off—,we have never quite managed the mutual orgasm—but we did get within 5 or 10 seconds a couple of times. There is nothing quite like receiving an orgasm at the same time you are delivering one—a connexion at a spiritual level, but I am not going to get in to the Tantra quite yet.

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5 Comments »

  1. […] It starts with sight—what it looks like. Not all pussies look the same. Of course, if it is not shaven, there is a nice patch—that visual patch of maturity—obscuring somewhat the underlying treasure. Should it be nicely trimmed, you might get to view the best of both worlds. Being shaven, everything is not so hidden—but something is hidden. Female genitalia are not out there like a male’s. On the surface, is a simple crack or slit—a couple of glorious folds of flesh marking the entrance. Some women have pronounced inner lips that escape these folds, and that is nice, too. When she spreads her thighs wider, she reveals her pink blossom as her inner lips become more visible. […]

    Pingback by The Zen of Cunnilingus « My Favourite Life — September 20, 2006 @ 7:49 am | Reply

  2. […] I wrote this poem a while ago to my wife, whom I adore. It is about her pussy—an ode to cunnilingus, a favourite past time of mine. […]

    Pingback by Inflorescentia « My Favourite Life — October 26, 2006 @ 12:22 pm | Reply

  3. […] So once again Woman for Life provides me with fodder for my blog. She relates how she finds cocks interesting and as unique as fingerprints. In theory I agree with her, but I have never cared to do an assessment. Of course, I have taken the time to ponder this same question when in regard to pussies. No two are alike. The only cock I am interested in is my own, though I do enjoy going through the states from flacid to erect. A favourite of mine is to start sex completely limp, only to have it come alive in her mouth. Cherish the thought! […]

    Pingback by Cock Sure « My Favourite Life — November 10, 2006 @ 8:56 am | Reply

  4. […] any case, I have already discussed how different pussies can be. Breasts and nipples are unique, too. I am not so sure exactly what is meant by nipple […]

    Pingback by Search Term of the Week « My Favourite Life — February 6, 2007 @ 10:17 am | Reply

  5. Dear anonamous;
    I stumbled upon your anal sex 101 article when I was researching anal sex on Answerbag.com and then read your blog n thoroughly enjoyed every sexy bit of it. I get wet with every picturesque scenario u describe. U have much talent writing, n I have read all your entries since 2006…. Are there more? I’m hooked. You sound like an amazing lover. I love your assertiveness n how you take ur time ensuring the woman gets off. I have even begun reading these blogs to my boyfriend of six years, hoping he will take lessons or at least try harder to get me off. I’ve never tried anal sex, but I want it, I CRAVE IT, imagining your techniques to get her ready to take the dick. Thank u for sharing ur philosophies. I really hope you read this! Ps… May u please invite me to the adventures of a slutty housewife blog? 🙂

    Sincerely, Jaclyn, age 22

    Comment by Jaclyn — August 23, 2010 @ 12:02 am | Reply


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