I don’t know the protocol of addressing posts in other blogs, but in my wanderings for sexually oriented blogs, I came upon this one. There don’t seem to be too many sexually focused blogs hosted by WordPress.com, which is where I host mine. I read through Annie’s blog entries, and, frankly, I could comment on many of them. Perhaps I might take on this challenge on some other day. 🙂 There aren’t very many entries anyway.
So Annie writes about quickies and sexual routine in an established relationship, and I commented on her site. To sum things up, Annie is in the midst of a long-term relationship that—at least sexually—she feels (I think) that she is more interested than him. She doesn’t know how to broach the topic of expanding sexual repertoire, and so she meanders through with sex that if is not just par is sub par. Her sex life has devolved into a situation where she either sucks his cock or takes it doggie style. It seems that for her masturbation is more interesting than sex, which is sad. I don’t think Annie is alone in this, but it is her blog to which I make my comments.
First, I will make a comparison to a similar time in my life, though this relationship lasted just over a year, much of it being the long distance variety, having met on the Internet. That’s a different story. I was on the rebound from a failed marriage, so I decided that I was wrong to superficially exclude some women because they were generally less attractive or overweight. Sandra was a successful, college-educated, overweight and married woman on the verge of her own divorce. I decided to go against my better judgment and have a relationship with her. It was pretty much drudgery.
To recap on previous posts, she had a strong interest in anal sex—which she preferred to vaginal sex. I thought this sounded like a good deal. I like all sorts of sex. Besides, she know how to deepthroat. She was also into light to moderate BDSM play. How could I go wrong? Well, I did.
She was overweight, and more importantly, she was loose. She had a loose pussy and a loose ass, and while I generally argue that if a guy has immediate access to a pussy, that pussy is better than any other pussy at that time because at least it is present. So the problem was I was always asking for blowjobs. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings by telling her her pussy was so loose, I could barely get off, and her ass wasn’t much better. About once a month, I fucked her pussy and ass. The rest of the time I got a blowjob—mostly the deepthroat variety. This was marginally fine with her.
But that wasn’t the worst of it. I love to eat pussy. Her pussy tasted at the same time sour and bitter. It was inedible. Before we met in person—while chatting on CompuServ—I went on about how much I loved eating pussy. The first time I did it, she told me that other men had told her she tasted bad. I had never tasted a bad-tasting pussy, so I suggested that they just didn’t like to eat pussy, and that is how they got out of it. Boy, was I wrong. Because, the taste of a pussy comes from the entrance, I stayed up by her clit, which as I have also mentioned was infinitesimally small—likely microscopic. Usually after a women cums, I dive down and eat out the jackpot. Nope. Not for her. Never. I couldn’t do it.
Now, I don’t know Annie, and I don’t know if any of this applies, but I thought I would bring it up as my own experience. I have no idea what she looks like. She says in another post that she is not model material, but that doesn’t mean anything. I am not model material either, but so? By her comments, Annie has an interest in role-playing, light S&M, and props. She is obviously game for oral and vaginal sex. I can’t tell if he eats her. In her response to my comment she said this:
you know… i just don’t know how to introduce something new without hurting feelings or causing embarrassment. the partner makes some offhand comments/jokes about me not needing him anymore since i have a vibrator & of course i tell him it’s not the same (and definitely not a replacement for the real thing)… yet still, he seems mildly threatened. *shrug* what to do, what to do?
Of course many guys might think an unreciprocated blowjob is a good idea, but I don’t agree—save for every now and again. My wife has a vibrator, and so did my last wife. It is not the same. She could tell him to use his hand. Of course, that is not the same either.
My suggestion is that she try something similar to what I tried a few years back. Make a game of it. I created sex cards. Before sex, we would draw a card to find out what we would do. It also added an element of spontaneity. She could also use a regular deck of cards or slips a paper drawn from a sack. These should include the usual things—so he doesn’t feel threatened or that he might be missing out on something, but they should also include some things she would like to introduce. I have plenty of creative ideas ranging from mild to wild. They would have to be tailored to there own boundaries, and should definitely be a project for the two of them. Participation is the key. She may even discover that he is interested in some things but he doesn’t know how to approach her with the subject. Who knows?
Were it me, I would suggest things like these:
Vaginal Sex: Missionary, Doggie, Spoon, Woman on Top
Oral Sex (Blowjob): Swallow; Facial; Deepthroat
Anal Sex: Missionary, Doggie, Spoon, Woman on Top
Pussy shaving is one of my favourites. Perhaps toys, role play, some light bondage, public (or near-public) sex or sex in a different place (plus the type of sex), a massage with a hand job… This list goes on and on… locations, positions, techniques.
I am going to end this early and post it, but I may return and add to it when time allows. In the end, I wish Annie luck.