Many if not most of the women I have dated had been sexually abused or molested. I am very sensitive to this. Myself, I have never raped a woman, though I have taken advantage of a date who was out of it. In these cases, I had already had a sexual relationship, and there was no problem afterward. They would have said yes even if they weren’t out of it.
I have erred on the other side of caution. In one instance, I was with a woman who had been a girlfriend who had moved away and we stopped dating because if the distance, but we were on good terms. She paid a visit to Los Angeles where I was living at the time. We spent an evening together and she said she was tired. It was closer to my place than to her brother’s where she staying, and she asked to stay at my place. I was OK with that.
I only had a double bed. Julie always slept in the nude. I knew this about her, having dated her for over a year. So when she undressed completely to go to bed, I didn’t think anything of it. I did enjoy the show, though. She still kept her pussy shaven, something she had done since she started growing in pubic hair in the first place. Having told me she was tired, I made no moves on her, though I did snuggle into a spooning position from behind holding her ample breast in my hand. (I love that position.) We fell asleep like this.
Digression: I just remembered that one time previously we fucked in the wee hours of the morning, and I fell asleep on top of her after I came. The next morning my cock was still inside her pussy. It was kind of fun, and allowed more morning fuck session. That’s never happened to me again.
Anyway, when we awoke the next morning, she was actually angry at me for not trying to fuck her. Her self-esteem was obviously damaged, as she wondered why I didn’t try to take advantage of her. I was only respecting her spoken boundaries.
Finally, women also need to take responsibility for their own actions. When a chick follows Mike Tyson up to his hotel room at 3 AM, she should not be surprised that he tries to take advantage of her. This is not to say that she deserved to be raped by any means, but she did make that choice, and it was a bad one. Period. That doesn’t absolve him, but she was no innocent victim.
Even in the cases I have talked about regarding women I have known. Almost all of them could have been prevented by a little more forethought. This forethought includes things like not getting drunk and inviting two guys back to your place, not getting high with some stranger in a remote area, not living on the beach in Mexico for a month as a single woman. Should a woman be able to do these things without the risk of being accosted. Yes. Does that reflect reality? No.
Rape is never justified. It is too often unreported for myriad of reasons, but please, women are not getting raped during a sermon that I know of. Make the right choices. Are there cases where rape occurs and the women has no blame? Yes, of course. A woman who happens to date a seemingly nice guy, the woman who works late and gets raped in the parking lot, the woman whose car breaks down in the wrong place, but these are not the typical case. Besides, a little intuition goes a long ways.
Why do I bother to respond to Budding’s post? I feel many people over generalise all men to be potential rapists because they have a penis. Granted most rapes are of women by men, but this is not the only dynamic. Men rape men. Women rape men. Women rape women. So let’s not get on the male-bashing bandwagon. Thanks Budding for giving me something to which I can respond.