My Favourite Life

November 7, 2006

A Cunt by Any Other Name

Filed under: Blowjobs,Fellatio,oral sex,Pussy,Sex — myfavouritelife @ 6:00 am

A cunt is a cunt is a cunt is a cunt, but that is not why I am writing today. People are so hung up on names, perhaps in the US more than elsewhere—more Judeo-Christian hangups.

The other day, Hallowe’en in fact, I thought it would be cute to ask my wife for a blowjob. I said, “How ’bout a bit of bobbin’ in deference to the day?” She didn’t say anything immediately, but I learnt after the fact that she was put off by the terminology. She did give me head that night, but she set me straight the next day. She told me, “Don’t ever use that word again if you expect me to give you head. I don’t want to hear that or head if you want a blowjob.” I didn’t bother arguing that she used the word head in asking me not to use it.

She tends to use go down as a phrase, as in “Do you want to go down on me?, or more commonly, “Do you want to eat me?”” She also tends towards something like, “Let’s just have oral sex,” as if it is somehow less than regular sex, or “How ’bout I just give you head,”a shortcut to sexual pleasure.

So, there’s more. She said if she hadn’t been horny and thinking of her favourite male television personality, I wouldn’t have gotten anything. She told me she was imagining that she was sucking his cock, doing her best to please him. I know some people would complain about their partner’s mind wandering, but for me, I don’t care. If she wants to imagine a different person every night, I’ll take it.
She didn’t relate this to me until the next day, so while she was imagining she was sucking off some other bloke, I was wondering what she was doing? She tried something she had done only once before and rather recently. She was going for a 30-second blowjob, which is where she just sucks really hard on the head of my cock. It always takes more than 30 seconds—closer to 2 minutes—, but it is interesting. Here I was thinking she was just trying to get me off quickly and get it over with, when in her mind she was trying to please her man, who at that moment didn’t happen to be me. I was just a proxy. Perception is reality.

Well, at least I know when I ate her that I was eating her. I cannot think of another woman when I am with one. Even when my wife does role-playing it is always she I am enjoying. It has always been this way for me—even if I would actually rather be with someone else or, worse yet, not really want to be having sex with the woman with whom I am having sex. Enough of this.

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