I have relatively few attachments, but I am attached to sex. I admit it. I don’t get as much as I would like, but I get enough. I guess I compensate for the remainder by writing here and keeping a sex diary. Well, it is not so much a diary as a checklist with dates in an Excel spreadsheet. It dates back to 2001. After the birth of our son our sex life went into the toilet. At first—for the first few years, even—I attributed it to her post-partum condition—and she was breastfeeding all the while. Once she stopped breast feeding, my allowance for that went, too.
2000 was another bad year for sex, so as a New Years resolution I was going to have more sex that year and keep track. I had only kept track in my head before that. In 2001 it wasn’t much better, but now I had a basis for comparison: what and when. This spreadsheet is divided into a tab for each month and a main page to aggregate the months. On each tab, the date runs down the first column. Across the top are the events: vaginal, oral, anal, manual, vibrator, and other—whatever that might be—, plus I have totals. I have only one entry for vibrator and none for other over the years. I also mark when she shaves and have a place for notes, like when we have 69, it goes under oral but with a note because in my book it is special but doesn’t get a category of its own. I have a separate spreadsheet to compare years.
This year has not been great, but I am closing in on the best year I have had since I started keeping track. 2003 was the best year yet with 67 encounters—keeping in mind that the average couple has sex about twice as often. I am 9 short of that but with enough time to surpass it. It is more than a numbers game to me, and if I were having sex more frequently, I wouldn’t feel I needed to keep track.
Of course there are 52 weeks in a year. This should be kept in mind for the sake of reference. In 2003 we had some sort of sex 67 times, and this was a good year. We had regular sex 18 times (27%), anal sex 22 times (33%), oral sex 23 times (33%), and I got 3 handjobs (5%), and she used the vibrator once (2%)—that’s the once. She shaved 10 times that year.
This year isn’t over yet, but here’s the breakdown so far. In 2006 we had regular sex 33 times (56%), anal sex 8 times (13%), oral sex 17 times (29%)—2 sixty-nines in there—, and I got 1 handjob (2%)for a total of 59 times so far this year, barely over once a week. I guess I wonder how other people’s sex lives are versus mine, especially the so-called average ones coming in at 120-130 times per year. I know some other readers of this blog have sex about as frequently as I do, so I am not sure who is getting sex twice as often, but this is one place where I would love to be counted as average.
I don’t count the number of times she cums because she cums every time I do, and 99% of the time it is because I eat her to orgasm. Once or twice a year I use my fingers (or she used her fingers of a vibrator). She is able to have multiple orgasms, but she only tries a handful or so times a year. She almost always cums several times when we have anal sex. Usually once before and once during. Sometimes again after.
I read that males who ejaculate at least 21 times a month have a statistically significant decrease in prostate cancer. Do the math. That’s four or five times a week. My wife is putting me at risk. How many other men are being put at risk by not hitting these numbers? I wonder…