I was reading through my new favourite personal-sexual-content blog—I hope I don’t scare her off with the attention, but I have been enjoying reading throw her back issues—, and I had to comment on her topic. How many guys is too many? Now, this is not at one time. That’s a different issue. This is over a lifetime. I guess it all needs to be pro-rated, so maybe it is more in line with how many per year over a sexually-active period. For me, I feel my number is artificially low because I have been married twice (and still am), once for 7 years and once for ten—and then there was is monogamous period before each marriage. Of course longer-term relationships tend to drag down the number as well.
In my comment to the post, I argue that it shouldn’t matter whether she fucks 50 guys, once each, or 1 guy 50 times. The impact is the same—wear and tear, if you will. Society puts a negative spin on sluts. Personally, I have no issue whatsoever with sluts. I have dated many, and thank goodness for them. I think religion and so-called morals are the biggest culprits, but it really comes down to possession and a sense of property rights—chattel.
Why shouldn’t a woman have complete control over her body and to whom she chooses to share it? Why should anybody else judge some number to be too many and throws her into a slut category. Just be safe. That’s all. If she wants to sell herself, great. Some people identify marriage in this category. Why else would there be alimony otherwise? It is a licensing fee, really. Legislated prostitution. Why is prostitution illegal? Other women don’t like the competition. Especially those women who want to withhold sex from their partners but don’t want them to have easy access otherwise. As George Carlin says, selling is legal, and fucking is legal. Why isn’t selling fucking legal…but I digress.
Possession. I think a man wants to feel as though he has full control over his partner’s body. He doesn’t want to think other people has been using his property. Frankly, it doesn’t matter. I have said here before, my wife has had sex with dozens of other men before we met. So what? She has probably told me every good and bad detail about all of them. No big deal. I have told her about my experiences, too. No jealously. No possessiveness. Just open and honest communication.
There have been times when I have commented on something she was doing, and she would answer, so and so showed me that, or such and such liked that. No problem.
There is no right number. There is no quota or limit. Safe. Sane. Consensual. Have fun. Nothing more. Carpe diem. If you meet some long-term friends and lovers along the way, that’s even better.