My Favourite Life

January 5, 2007

Search Term of the Week

Filed under: cunnilingus,oral sex,Pussy,Sex — myfavouritelife @ 9:17 am

OK. So I said I would be doing this, and here is my first entry as Search Term of the Week.

“why doesnt my wife enjoy cunnilingus”

So, Dr. Ruth or those sisters on Lifetime might have a lot to say about this. Is it about her or is it about him?

Her: Sometimes women have very poor body self-image. They do not appreciate themselves and the way they look…especially “down there.” I have talked about this before. I am sure More than 95% of women look OK or better downstairs. In my experience, I have only met 1 woman who was less than OK down there, and even I couldn’t eat her (that often). Beside, due to her diet, she tasted bad. This could be another concern. She might think she smells or tastes bad. Personal hygiene aside, even if this were true, it could be remedied. My wife told me about a smoker she dated, and his cum always tasted like an ashtray—not exactly conducive to oral sex—, maybe she feels she tastes like that. On the other hand, perhaps it is just good old-fashioned religion or morality getting in the way. Who knows? A little communication in the way of, “Honey, why don’t you don’t like me to eat your pussy?” Of course, her response could lead to the second set of options…

Him: So, maybe you want to eat pussy, but maybe you suck at it, and she doesn’t have the heart to tell you. Obviously, communication is already determined to be a factor. Maybe you could find her clit if you had a map and she coloured it for you with ink. Maybe you do know where the clit is, and you attack it with reckless abandon. Timing comes into play here.

I wonder, does she give you oral? Does she like it. Perhaps you might gain some input here. Perhaps she doesn’t approve of any kind of oral. Perhaps she a good old Missionary girl. If it is about her, I would suggest she get to know herself better. Send some quality time alone with herself and a mirror, masturbating. No audience. No pressure. Get to experience her inner (well, OK, outer) beauty. And of course, you didn’t think I would let this paragraph end without bringing up shaving to get an even better view. On the other hand, if it is about you (him). Talk to her. Ask her to guide you. If she can’t guide you, have her start with the quality time alone.

So, I don’t know if you have had good oral sex with other women. You might not know either. Enough said, but before I go, I would be remiss not to mention a friend of mine who (a) doesn’t like to give or get oral sex, (b) thinks anal sex with a woman (or with a guy, I guess, by extension) is gross, and (c) all gays—even the lesbians—are sick.  He can’t even stand to watch lesbian action in porn. I guess some straight-laced woman would be thrilled with this vanilla lover, but as for me, I just don’t get it. I remember one woman I dated who once asked me, “Why can’t you just be satisfied with regular fucking? None of the other guys I have dated seem to mind.” Of course she loved to be eaten, she just had a problem reciprocating. Sometimes I just don’ t get it.

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