My Favourite Life

October 25, 2007

Virgin Mary

Filed under: Anal Sex,Sex — myfavouritelife @ 10:53 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

I was surfing the ‘net when I happened upon this:

Mary Was Only A Virgin If You Don’t Count Anal

Being the irreverent fuck I can be at times, I felt compelled to share it. So, this is an image from a tee-shirt. I am wondering who would where this and where? Now, I am not a Christian, and I don’t buy the dogma, but at the same time, I don’t think I would wear something like this—especially not in the repressed Mid-West.

But, since I am on the topic of religious mythology, there are always things I wonder about. So let’s say that Mary was a historical person—she existed in real life: living, breathing, walking. Let’s also say we agree that she was a virgin. We can leave out her anal exploits for the purpose of discussion. Did chicks do anal in those days? Anyway, where was I?

So, according to my understanding, Mary would have been a nubile young woman around 14 years old. Now, I have to wonder: did God have it wrong impregnating a 14 year old, or do we humans in the US have it wrong. I believe in most states—save for the South—consider this to be illegal. I’m just saying. I guess the South is just trying to live closer to the bible. Who can fault them for that?

Speaking of biblical sex, another thing I wonder about is the whole Adam and Eve thing. So, from Adam God created Eve. Great! I’m there. Following right along. So they screw and beget (I love that word) Cain and Abel. In the manner of obligate siblicide, some fratricide takes place. Cain slays Abel. Cain eventually gets betrothed and procreates. Who is his wife? His sister? His Mother? There aren’t too many options here. Perhaps it is one of his sibling’s daughters. I wonder about these things?

WWJD

In the end it just leaves me wondering: Did Mary take anal? And, What Would Jesus Do for a Klondike Bar? Enquiring minds want to know.

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4 Comments »

  1. I reckon chicks did do anal in those days to avoid pregnancy. Not sure what they used for lube though, I guess spit is okay but can make for a rough ride.

    Comment by emmak — October 25, 2007 @ 12:13 pm | Reply

  2. Yeah, spit would not be my first recommendation.

    Comment by myfavouritelife — October 25, 2007 @ 1:02 pm | Reply

  3. Actually, after giving this topic some more serious thought I have realized that it probably wasn’t that hard for them to have anal if they used butter or maybe goat’s cheese. Must have stunk though!

    Comment by emmak — October 29, 2007 @ 11:34 am | Reply

  4. Last Tango in Paris style, I suppose.

    Comment by myfavouritelife — October 30, 2007 @ 12:45 pm | Reply


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