So it isn’t as if I don’t trust my wife, but she is very flirty on line, so I installed key monitoring software on our computer. I have confirmed one thing: She is very flirty online. She is a stay-at-home bored housewife, and she has been on holiday this past week, which gives her even more time on her hands.
Anyway, I was reviewing a chat log from a particular online MMO game, and it was pretty funny, really. It was just after midnight our time. The convo went something like this (and it is a bit boring):
Her: So, how old are you?
Him: 20. How old are you?
Her: About the same. (She is more than twice that age.)
Him: What do you look like?
Her: Thin, bunnette, green eyes…
Him: Are you stacked? (I thought that term went out in the 50s.)
Her: They’re nice and firm. How about you?
Her: Are you well-endowed in the trousers?
Him: No. 😦
Her: At least you’re honest. Do you have a girlfriend?
Her: Do you have sex?
Him: Sometimes. Not too much.
Her: Why not?
Him: We are not that close.
Her: Why not?
Him: I dunno
Her: You seem like a nice guy. Have you had any other girlfriends?
Him: I had another girlfriend.
Her: Did you have sex with her?
Her: How many times have you had sex?
Him: I dunno
Her: What kind of sex do you like?
Him: Like 2 or 3 times. I just like sex.
Her: Was it 2 or was it 3?
Him: It was more like twice.
Her: What happened to the other time?
Him: She didn’t want to do it.
Her: What kind of sex did you have? Oral or just fucking?
Him: Just regular fucking.
Her: Are you afraid she will think your dick is too small?
Her: The best thing about having a small dick is that girls will let you fuck them in the ass.
Her: Aren’t you into that?
Her: I thought all guys are into that.
Her: Because it’s a tight hole. I love it but my partner is too large. It feels so good when I cum.
Him: I dunno
Her: Have you ever had a blowjob?
Her: I give great head
Her: Have you ever gone down on a girl?
Her: Would you like to?
Him: I think so.
Her: I shave all my pubic hair
Her: Does that turn you on?
Him: Sort of
Her: My pussy is wet. Is your dick hard
Her: Are you still there?
Her: Where did you go?
System: [name] has logged off.
So, reading this (or writing it) as a third person is tedious, but I found it to be informative.
Mostly, as I have known all along, she does like anal sex. Well, given the other mistruths, perhaps not, but I’ll go with that. It has always been my belief that she (and many other women) don’t mind these things, but there is a power trip going on, so they hold out. I am not saying every woman, but there are plenty. Some women won’t even try, but that’s a different story.
Speaking of anal sex, after about a month of nothing but(t), she switched to an oral-only mode—practising her deepthroat. She told me the other day that she didn’t think she gave good deepthroat. I reinforced that in fact she did, and she should be proud (as the case might be) because not many women even can or (more importantly) do deepthroat. And I felt lucky because of it.
But there is something more. Something missing. We have been having a lot of sex lately. It is kind of hard to call it sex, but it is. The problem is there is no foreplay (OK, call me a woman). All she want to do is get it over with—to get me off for my benefit. At least over the weekend I got to eat her and get her off.
The past few months, though, it is more along the lines of, “Whip it out and let’s get it over with.” It has been mostly one of two things: Either, she offers me her ass and some Slippery Stuff, or she breaks out the vanilla oil and goes down on me. That’s it. I guess I shouldn’t complain. After all, I do get off, but there is no intimacy. It’s like I might as well be visiting a hooker.
Every few weeks (or month or more), she wants something more. I enjoy this more. Meantime, I’ll just play it by ear.