My Favourite Life

April 8, 2009

In Defence

Filed under: Sex — myfavouritelife @ 9:36 am
Tags: , , , ,

Evidently, I am not alone in tit-for-tat exchanges with my wife. Sorry to bore any readers who are expecting more out of this blog than I have to offer. My life is what it is. For those who have written me privately, I don’t know why you just don’t respond in-line. In any case, I don’t feel I need to apologise or defend my lifestyle or my arrangements with my wife. Relationships can run hot and cold, warm and cool. I feel our relationship is sound, but it is on the cool side and it has been since about August, some days better than others.

Although I love my wife and I have my own personal objectives and agenda in our relationship, I am not a possessive person. Ultimately, I have certain needs I want met. I see it like a cup of tea. I can only hold tea to the brim. If my cup runneth over, I can let it. So, in the case of WarDaddy, my cup is either half-filled or overflowing. Without him in the picture I feel I need more to drink; with him in it, I get more than I require, and so he gets the overflow…or perhaps I get the overflow, but it is all the same tea, so it doesn’t really matter; does it?

Although I am an admitted utilitarian, I would prefer that my sexual relationship would be less of an exchange and more of a typical give and take, but it isn’t working out like that, so I take it as it comes. It’s not really a big deal, but—and not to sound like a chick—the emotion is what’s missing. Save for the other night, I have been getting mechanical blowjobs. Sure, a blowjob is better than nothing, but I also know what she is capable of—as she demonstrated again the other night.

The way I rationalise it, if she becomes more randy with me after she comes home from him—everything else being equal—, why should I care? If she were to come home and give me the cold shoulder, that would be a different story. Not only do I benefit by the tit-for-tat exchange, she is more pleasant and horny as she anticipates her visits, so I also get indirect effects.

Would I prefer that I just get the effects without the middleman? Sure. Of course. But that’s not the way it is now. We have been married for some twelve years and we’ve hit a slow spot. It’s happened before. We’ll weather it through. Meantime, life goes on, and I use this blog as a way to get things off my chest as well as to relate some of the more notable experiences in my sexual life. As with me, you get to take the good with the bad. In the end, I hope this helps other to see that not everybody’s life is peachy, and yet we still get on.


  1. Amen brother. I tend to think of marriage like a wave, there are crests and troughs. The thing about a trough is, there is always a crest coming behind it.

    Tit-for-tat, or pill-for-ass, whatever works for you guys!


    Comment by Litig8r — April 9, 2009 @ 7:07 am | Reply

  2. I like your approach — it’s very honest. Some people will never understand it and that’s okay. As long as it works for you, you don’t have to defend anything.

    This reminds me of one of your recent posts in which you described the reaction of your coworker(?) to your family trip to that naturalist resort. Some people just have the hardest time trying to see things from someone else’s perspective. And that’s fine, too.

    Comment by coquetteinbed — April 9, 2009 @ 8:01 am | Reply

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